Free Lecture Series for Parents of Children with Learning Disabilities

The Connecticut Association for Children and Adults with Learning Disabilities (CACLD) is hosting a series of free lectures for parents called "Let's Talk: My Child Has a Learning Disability. What Should I Do?" Parents will discover all the opportunities their child has as Rena Schine, Ph. D., School Psychologist/Advocate, shares her knowledge about what the law and school system have to offer to help maximize each child's potential. The lectures will be held at the CACLD's offices at 25 Van Zant Street, 2nd floor, East Norwalk.
 
The first lecture, "Know Your Child: What do the tests say about your child?" will be held on Thursday, March 8. A second lecture, "Know the Law: What do the Federal and State laws mandate?" will be held on Thursday, March 15. A final lecture, "Know the School: How can I be sure the school is meeting my child's needs?" will be held on Thursday, March 22. Dr. Schine will explain the referral process, planning and placement team meetings (PPTs), why there can be so much conflict and confusion, and how to measure your child's progress. These lectures will help parents better understand their children's options.
 
Each lecture runs from 10:15 A.M. - 12:00 Noon and is limited to 10 participants. This series is intended for beginning parents looking for answers.The fee for the 3-lecture series is $45 for CACLD members, $50 for nonmembers. Pre-registration is required. Call 203-838-5010 to register with a credit card.

Michelle Bravo: On Holidays and Ex-Spouses

As the Holiday Season nears, I find that I'm always in a very introspective mood.  I tend to reflect on my family and the goals and aspirations that I have as an individual. I think about the environment of celebration and family life that I am providing for my children.  I think about my failed marriage and the decisions that I have made for myself and for my family.

It is well documented that divorced families have many more challenges during the Holiday Season. Certainly the typical stressors are present but add to them a blended family or absent parents and the pressure to create the perfect Holiday escalates. My ex moved across the country when my children were three and five. We are used to decorating and celebrating Christmas without him. It's been over five years now and we have crafted our celebrations with family and friends, and we all have a wonderful time.

divorcesupport.about.com/od/holidayblues/qt/SurvHolidays.htm

It's different -- it is simply not the picture that I had in mind. There's a sadness that I do not allow to overwhelm me, however, it does drift in and out during this period.
The dream of the "happily ever after" didn't work out for me. And if anyone ever told me in my twenties that I would live on four acres raising two children alone, I would have laughed and proclaimed that I'm not signing on to that - absolutely not.  I'm such a family-oriented person -- "I would never get divorced."

Famous last words I suppose. Never say never as life presents us with situations that we do not anticipate or foresee. Perhaps if we knew the future and all of its challenges, we would be better prepared. We certainly would eliminate the word 'never' from our vocabulary. We would not be so judgmental of others.

Yesterday, my daughter and I went shopping for her Father. She really wanted to get him an ornament this year. Thankfully, her heart is open and so incredibly sweet, so off we went. The ornament she chose was adorable and, when I asked her what she wanted to write on it, she said, "Let's write, 'Daddy, Sarah, Giavanna, Christopher, Kitty and Flea.' Do you want to be on it too, Mommy?"  Sarah is my ex's current wife and Kitty and Flea are their cats. They live across the country and my kids see her once a year.

If my life were a sitcom, this would be the moment that I would grit my teeth, produce a fake smile and look right into the camera. Instead, I warmly smiled at my daughter and said, "No thank you, but thank you for thinking of me."

It's moments like this that I feel very proud of many things. First and foremost, that I have produced kind and sensitive children that are mindful of other people's feelings. The other person that I am proud of is myself.  My non-reactive, do-what's-in-the-best-interest-of-my-children's-mental-health mentality that truly encourages my children to thrive as well as have healthy relationships.

I think it is extraordinarily important for divorced parents to encourage their children to have positive and successful relationships with both parents. For the sake of your children's well-being and mental health, bite your tongue, stop your eyes from rolling and be mature. You are doing them a disservice if you do not respect your former spouse. You don't have to adore them, but rise to the occasion and be mindful of the enormous impact -- either positive or negative -- that will result from your behavior.

We went home after our ornament shopping and Giavanna and I wrapped up the ornament. It is symbolic of another family, one that I am not part of. It's under our tree in anticipation of a visit from their father and I'm quite sure that he will love her thoughtfulness. I can't help but think that he will also appreciate my positive encouragement of how my daughter wants to express her love. I continually strive for peace in every aspect of my life and it makes all the difference. I see that in the happy faces of my children. xo

Michelle Bravo is a single mother raising two children in Fairfield County. Her Blog, "Suburban Adventure in Connecticut", can be found at www.ciaobravo.blogspot.com